More 3AM Conversation...

It's been quite a while since I've actually stayed up this late and had the opportunity to let my mind wander just a "little". Actually I think I'll stay pretty sane and probably a little philisophical here and there. The past few weeks I really haven't had much time to do much "hardcore thinking"
but I think it's all coming back to me now.

This summer has gone by faster than a speeding bullet train so far. It feels just like yesterday that I finished up the rink and got my computer certifications and all that. Well, guess what -- I'm STILL looking for a job AND doing pretty much everything else just as before. Actually, this summer feels almost like the ones back when I started high school. I wasn't working, and everyday was a designated do-nothing day. I don't need loads of money. I don't really need much at all to be happy. The only difference between then and now is that I have so many more friends than previously.
Back when I was 14 or 15 there was this huge emptiness inside that I longed for. I guess my dream has come true. It's really a great feeling.

They say you can't re-live the past -- but really, that's almost exactly what I'm doing right now. I'm doing it the way I always wanted to. I want to make it right this time. I've worked hard in the past few years to get to where I am today. I've totally changed my personality, overcome some personal shortfalls and become a much better person. But really, I'm just the same kid. It's hard to explain really, but the main idea is that so many times people think that they can never go back to the stuff they did in the past -- at which time I was only in my early teenage years. It's really simple really. Sometimes we try too hard for something that's within our own grasp -- only to learn so later. It's true, people change. They grow up, move away, get a job and live happily ever after. Then what happens?
We don't know. They live their own little lives unknown to those why knew them earlier.

Another thing that made me think about this whole deal is the continuing quote that I heard through high school and still read today. "Most of your high school friends will drift away after graduation". I really don't understand this. Well, all right actually I do. Maybe. It's simple, really. People change, just as I mentioned above. But people are constantly changing...does that mean that you can only be friends with a person for a limited amount of time? (In the back of my head I'm wondering if this school of thought can explain the high divorce rate of Americans today). Anyways... As much as we change we pretty much remain the same, just as in my own case. We still maintain our personal needs and desires for the most part.

Most of my friends share some sort of common interest...which in my case is computers. (Actually it first started with Magic, and then evolved somewhat). When your range of interest broadens, your circle of friends becomes bigger. Well, as long as you are around others who share the same interests. Then again, maybe not. For example, Nally and I were in the same computer class my sophomore year in high school. Why weren't we good friends then? (rhetorical questions at 3:15am :) I can't explain everything. In my opinion, common interest can begin a friendship, but personality strengthens it. The cool part here is -- all my friends -- every last one of them -- has a very unique personality -- YET -- the share something in common with my own that it creates a bond. Not covalent bonds, either. And with all my friends every facet is fully covered, and when we're all together it creates one huge diverse melting pot of ideas and stuff. When we are all at our best (and I admit, this doesn't happen all the time) it's such a great experience.

And that, my friends -- is what made Wednesday night so great.

Oh and another thing -- I miss the rink. I know I sound like such a stupid moron for saying that, but I miss working for people or something like that.

-Chris