Summer ideas

Hello and welcome once again to Mr. Za's house of craziness.

In today's episode we will study the mating habits of catfish, the intricate
process of shearing wool from adult sheep, and of course your favorite:
getting in touch with your inner-self...with Dr. Pepper

Of course if you don't prefer Dr. Pepper I can also refer you to Dr. Quinn,
medicine woman or russian icon Dr. Zhivago. It's your choice, my friends!

Lately here in the Za shack it has become much of a "one-man" show. No more
weekly gaming sessions, crazy ZaFests with even stranger prizes, or even fun
with Euchre or Uno. How lonely. Well, in the past few months yours truly
(the Za Meister himself) has prepared himself...and his close friends for
Stage 2 of TZE (Total ZA Enjoyment). Not all details of Stage 2 are yet
known, but I can leak a few bits 'n' pieces of info out to you guys (don't
tell my boss!)

-I am getting a REAL job and will get to take home a REAL paycheck. Which
means that in the next few months, I will be able to expand mein Reich
(german for my kingdom) larger than ever thought possible. I really don't
know when I'm gonna move out -- hopefully I'll save up enuff in the coming
months (or years, but hopefully not too many) to put a down payment on a
house of my own, or somethin' like that...(forget that rentin' craaap).
This probably means that much of the ongoing activities will still be taking
place here in the basement.
-My parents are most likely going "out west" for a large portion of the
summer! (they're retired and have enuff $$$ to do whatever they want :) --
So really I'll have full-reign of the house and everything, so at least I'll
be able to feel of "owning" a home before I actually purchase one. This is
coolness to the max.
-The extent of computer gaming, ZaFests, and all the details remain to be
seen...since I don't know "exactly" what the situation will be like in the
coming months. I plan to work a "fireman" shift (72 hours one week,
followed by a week totally off), so once I get my schedule you can mark your
calendars!!!
-I'd like to keep the theme for this summer "simple, but fun". As we all
have heard me say...the simple things are what make us the happiest -- but
of course it wouldn't be complete without some big-time events! Plans are
currently in the making, and as far as I can tell...the path ahead is clear.

Ok -- enuff of what my plans are: I'd like to hear about some of yours!
Please respond with anything you'd like to tell the ZA community, and make
sure to include everyone else with your reply (it isn't fair to keep ppl in
the dark :)

I wanted to write something weird tonight...and I think I failed. I may
possibly put something more out later on.
-Chris

My preference for fat women

Please disregard all references that are popping up concerning myself and
FAT WOMEN. I said it 1,000,001 times BEFORE and I'll say it AGAIN...I do
NOT have a fondness for overweight, veluptuous females. I only admire
Baroque period art in which many of these figures reside, epitomized by
Pieter Paul Reubens' "The Garden of Love".

Thank you, and have a great day! (The last thing you want to hear from me)
-Chris A. Czaplicki

Nerdity test

Ok, this is mainly aimed towards the guys at Cyberpalace but I can't help
but send it around to everyone...I first saw this online when I was 13
(yeah, I was wired back then on a 24a00-baud modem) -- and I can't help but
think that everyone will get a kick out of it. See how you guys do!

Then again you might just enjoy some of the answers I write...

PART ONE: COMPUTER EXPERIENCE

1) Have you ever used a computer? Aha.
2) Have you ever used a computer that did not have Windows 3.0 or was not
a Macintosh? Aha.
3) Have you ever programmed a computer in BASIC? Yes
4) Have you ever written a structured program in BASIC? Yes
5) Have you ever written a BASIC program that used pointers? - No?
6) Have you ever programmed a computer in Pascal? Yes
7) in Fortran 77? No
8) in Fortran 66? No
9) in C or C++? No (what??? you gotta be kidding me!)
10) in Lisp? No
11) in Modula 2? Thankfully no
12) in MathCAD, Mathematica or Smalltalk? What is that?
13) in Ada? Isn't that a city in ohio where they make Wilson Footballs?
14) in PostScript? PS I love you
15) in Assembler? I assemble PC's but not PC language
16) Have you ever used Make? i don't recall
17) Have you ever written a program more than 1000 lines long? Probably
18) Have you ever written a compiler THAT WORKED? surely not
19) Have you ever written a computer game (including video games)? simple
games yes
20) Have you ever used a MUDD, MUCC or MUSE? yeah -- back when I was like
13 or 14
21) Have you ever become a God on a MUDD, MUCC or MUSE? not
22) Have you ever managed or created a MUDD, MUCC or MUSE? i wish
23) Have you ever encountered a computer virus? yeah, Friday 13th and
Chernobyl
24) Have you ever defeated a computer virus (cleaned out your system with
no data loss and little loss of time)? Chernobyl was bad, but I got it
out before the big strike
25) Do you collect viruses? thought about it -- but never had the gumption
26) Have you ever infected another computer with a virus intentionally?
ditto
27) Have you ever written a computer virus? no, but I know someone who has
28) Was it for profit? nah
29) Have you ever been AT A LOSS for storage space on your hard drive? yes,
but I know someone who is at more of a loss :)
30) Have you ever used UNIX? aha
31) Have you ever written a UNIX shell script? most definitely -- unix is
KING
32) Have you ever crashed a UNIX system? i didn't know you could -- unix is
KING
33) Was it intentionally? nah
34) Have you ever installed an operating system on a computer,
including your own? ...but of course
35) Have you read email in the last week? yep
36) in the last 24 hours? got me here too
37) Have you read news from the computer networks in the last week?
obviously
38) in the last 24 hours? aha
39) Have you ever installed new hardware on your computer? i would hope so
40) Have you ever built or repaired your own computer? maybe
41) Have you ever done #39 or #40 for someone else? probably
42) Have you ever set up a BBS for *other than* profit? no -- even though I
always wanted to :)
(NB: profit-takers should be shot at this point, once in the brain.
Author)
43) Have you ever thrown out an algorithm because it took more time
than another algorithm? i think i have at some point in my life
44) Have you ever thrown out an algorithm because it used more memory
than another algorithm? unintentionally, yes
45) Have you ever worried about dirty electricity (yes this is a
legitimate question; we have this problem in Chicago.) NO
46) Have you ever written an Artificial Intelligence program or algorithm? i
think i have
47) Have you ever taught another person a computer language? my former BOSS
:)
48) Have you ever spent more than 8 hours programming a computer? yeah
49) Have you ever spent consecutive Thursday, Friday and Saturday
evenings programming a computer? NO WAY DUDE -- I WAS OUT PIMPIN'
HOOCHIES :)
50) Have you ever left a really cool party because you wanted to be
on the computer for any reason? ALL MY COOL PARTIES ARE ON THE COMPUTER
ALREADY!!!!!!!

PART TWO: MATHEMATICAL EXPERIENCE

GLOSSARY: ODE = Ordinary Differential Equation (or just plain Differential
Equation)
PDE = Partial Differential Equation

51) Do you know Trigonometry? absolutely
52) Have you ever taken a derivative? something like that
53) Have you ever taken a partial derivative? I don't think Kohuth taught
that
54) Have you ever solved a triple integral? neiter that
55) Have you ever solved a first order ODE? aha
56) Have you ever solved a second order ODE? supposedly
57) Have you ever found an Eigenvalue? probably, but I never knew it as that
58) Have you ever solved a Determinant Matrix? yes, unfortunately I had to
go thru that
59) Have you ever used Gauss's Theorem? NO
60) Green's Theorem? NO
61) Stokes's Theorem? NO
62) Have you ever found the Kernel of a Vector Space? hell no
63) Have you ever used a Laplace Transform? ok this is stupid
64) Have you ever found a Fourier Series? i think i'm the dumbest person in
the world now
65) Have you ever solved a PDE? no, but I've solve
66) Are you now or were you ever a Math major or Statistics major? no, but I
probably should be....
67) Do you know what a homomorphism is? nah
68) Do you know what ring theory is? i probably knew what it was back in HS
69) Do you know what a Prime Number is? umm...yeah
70) Do you know what a Smith Number is? smith? that's nuts
71) Have you ever taken a Riemann Integral? yeah
72) Can you count to more than 1000 on two hands? i never thought i could do
that -- but now that I think of it (two hands??? WOE YOU CAN DO A LOT OF
THINGS WITH 2 HANDS!)
73) Can you use a calculator? NO
74) Can you use a graphing calculator? YES
75) Can you calculate a waiter's tip in your head? I am the mental math
GRAND POOBAH so yes
76) Can you calculate sales tax in your head? aha
77) Do you know how to add the numbers 1, 2, 3, ... 100 in less
than one minute using just a paper and pencil? of course
78) Have you ever taken a limit? yep
79) Have you heard of Lorenz's Equations? i think so
80) Have you ever seen a fractal? somewhere something
81) Have you ever solved an equation using the square root of negative one?
oh you mean with i?
82) Is 666 a Smith Number? (say no if you don't know) no
83) Do you have Pi memorized to more than 5 digits? 3.1415927
84) Do you have e memorized to more than 5 digits?2.718281828 (oh maybe I
shouldn't have given the answers)
85) Have you ever integrated a function that was discontinuous at one point?
maybe, maybe not
86) Do you know the first seven Prime Numbers? 2, 3, 5, 7, 11
87) Can you find the area of a circle of radius r? aha
88) a sphere of radius r? certainly
89) from x=0 to x=1 for y=x^2? oh yeah
90) Have you ever taken an improper integral? 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 33, 37,
41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 93
91) Have you ever found the critical points of a predator-prey system? nope
92) Have you ever found the critical points of a chaotic system? chaos
theory, eh?
93) Have you ever entered a math competition (math team, American
Invitational Math Exam, and so on?) yes I have
94) Have you ever won something in a math competition? lots of ribbons and
trophies, no money though (so it doesn't actually count :)
95) Is your Math SAT score above 600? YEP
96) above 700? 720 in fact
97) Do you know the Quadratic Formula by heart? yeah, i think so but I don't
want to repeat it
98) Do you know the polynomial formulae for sin(x) and cos(x) by heart? yes
i confess I do
99) Have you ever calculated the odds of getting a hand in a card game?
no -- i looked at a table and memorized it
100) Can you find the odds of getting a certain dice roll in your head?
well, that's MUCH easier
(NB- more on this in Nerd Culture)

PART THREE- SCIENCE EXPERIENCE

101) Have you ever taken a calculus-based science course? NO (at least not
yet)
102) Have you ever taken a laboratory course for science or engeneering? I
don't goto school HAHAHAHA
103) Are you now or were you ever a hard science major (physics, chemistry,
NOOOOO
biology, geology, meteorology, &c) or a real engeneering major? Please
note: food science does not count, nor does psychology. Anyone who
argues as such should be shot, once in the brain. It's for their own
good. Furthermore, technology majors don't count (Electrical
Engineering Technology is not the same as Electrical Engineering,
no matter what anyone says.) Math and Computer Science don't count
either, unless you are double majoring... i.e., physics and math
would count for this question and #66
104) Did you ever own a chemistry set? a loooong time ago
105) Did you ever make illegal substances (explosives, drugs, etc.) with
#104 I probably did some of that
with a chemistry set?
106) Do you have your own scientific instruments, other than in a chemistry-
I used to back in my pre-teen years
set (i.e.- you buy your own individual Erlenmeyer Flasks, test tubes,
oscilloscopes, voltmeters, and so on. Lab coats don't count- see #122)
107) Did you ever enter a science fair? nah
108) Did you ever win anything in a science fair? science fair??? we never
had those!
109) Have you ever thought up an original science experiment? that's nuts
110) Were you able to perform this experiment? of course not
111) Were the results conclusive? inconclusive
112) Do you read Scientific American? no
113) Science News or Science? used to read Science News in HS (chemistry
articles :)
114) Any professional scientific journal (like Physics Quarterly?) heh
115) Do you know what a kilogram is? 2.2 lbs?
116) Do you know what a TeV is? something physics related?
117) Do you know how many kilograms there are in a terragram? 1 trillion?
118) Do you know how many picometers there are in a centimeter? 1 billion?
or is it a trillion i don't exactly remember
119) Do you know what a Watt is? light bulb (or newton meter or somethin')
120) what a Joule is? that's the newton-meter!
121) Do you know Avogadro's Number? 6.02 x 10^23 -- THANK YOU DOC DAVE!
122) Do you own your own lab coat? this is the funniest question I have ever
seen!
123) Do you have stains on clothing from chemistry experiments? i'm sorry I
don't do that
124) Have you ever extrapolated? HAHAHAHA
125) Have you ever done a least squares fit? least squares? or least squaas
126) Have you ever estimated error using a least squares fit? nope, no I
haven't
127) Have you ever titrated something? i think i did in chem back in hs
128) Have you ever done a spectral analysis on something? ditto #127
129) Have you ever distilled something? i tried making my own beer once,
does that count?
130) Have you ever used a voltmeter? yeah, that was in Laret's class
unfortunately
131) a galvinometer? we didn't get THAT far
132) an oscilloscope? i saw it used on Mr. Wizard once does that count?
133) a Hall Probe? or an anal probe? (hint: I've used 1 of the 2)
134) Have you ever dissected an animal? 7th grade I did a froggie
135) Have you ever dissected a human being? 7th grade I dissected myself
136) Have you ever solved an equation for oxidation-reduction reaction? oh
the memories :)
137) Do you know what Parabolic Motion is? they're all coming back to me
now!
138) Do you know Maxwell's Equations? Maxwell's silver hammer?
139) Do you understand Einstein's Theory of General Relativity? I think i
did somewhat
140) Special Relativity? special? no not this one
141) Have you ever solved a Schrodinger Wave Equation? Schroodiiiiggee what?
142) Have you ever had an experiment get you sick? no, but I made other
people get sick!
143) Have you ever had an experiment catch fire or explode on you? i hit a
whole box of cap gun caps with a rock once...
144) Have you ever extracted DNA from something in a laboratory in
order to perform an experiment on it? - no
145) Have you ever altered DNA in a laboratory? no
146) Have you ever maintained a bacteria colony under laboratory
conditions (sorry, your bedroom does not count) -- no no labs
147) Have you ever done any laboratory work involving viruses? oh no
148) Have you ever maintained a colony of living animals under
laboratory conditions (i.e.- fruit flies). why?
149) Have you ever been the target of a political group because of
your experiments (i.e.- Operation Rescue, Animal Liberation Front,
Mad Mothers Against Socially Unacceptable Physicists, etc.) Mad People
against Za Rocks
150) Have you ever done an experiment that required more than
one month to perform? something like that


PART FOUR: NERD CULTURE

151) Have you ever felt left out at a party? There have been occasions...
152) Have you ever been told to leave a party for reasons other
than obnoxious behavior? no I usually hide in a closet
153) Have you ever left a party because you felt more comfortable in
front of a computer or performing an experiment (including
classwork) -- yeah, where the REAL party is
154) Have you ever been called a nerd, geek, loser, wimp or other
similarly derogatory comment? more than once
155) Have you ever seen "Revenge Of The Nerds" and identified with the
main characters? no i don't think so
156) Have you ever read "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"? i don't read
157) Have you read the entire trilogy (all five books)? i don't read
158) Have you ever seen an episode of Star Trek? Tribbles!!!!!!
159) Dr. Who? no
160) Star Trek: The Next Generation? yes, but not consciously
161) Blake's Seven? nonono
162) Deep Space Nine? nonono
163) Kung Fu: The Legend Continues? kung fu = nerdity??? what???
164) Have you ever attended a convention for any of the shows
listed in questions 158-163? no way dude
165) Have you ever played a role playing game? all the time
166) Have you ever participated in a role playing game campaign? like in
Warcraft II? yes I have
167) Have you ever run a role playing game adventure? adventure? nah
168) Have you ever run a role playing game campaign? no
169) Have you ever made your own role playing game? no
170) Did you sell, publish or otherwise distribute this game? no - but I
sure wish I had b/c I'd have lots of $$$
171) Have you ever attended a role playing game convention? again, I would
have liked to
172) Are you a regular at role playing game conventions? no
173) Have you ever published a science fiction story? no
174) a mathematical article? no
175) a scientific article? (PhD's included for questions 174-5) no
176) Have you ever read a science fiction/fantasy novel other than
Hitchhiker's? no
177) Have you ever read an entire series of non Hitchhiker's SciFi/fantasy?
no
178) Have you ever corrected a role playing game, TV show, or novel
for scientific accuracy? role playing game -- most definitely
179) Have you ever asked a question in a class? NO I HAVE NEVER ANSWERED A
QUESTION
180) Have you ever corrected a professor in class? i've never had a
professor
181) Do you usually sit in the front of the class? not anymore
182) Are you a member of a career organization (like Society of Physics
Students or Society of Women Engeneers)? not anymore
183) Are you a regular in this career organization? nope
184) Have you ever taken an independent study class? right now I am :)
185) Do you plan to / did you earn two degrees or more as an undergraduate?
yes -- I'll be going to school FOR LIFE
186) Are you going / Did you go to Graduate School? one of these days
187) Have you ever gotten straight A's in a semester/term/quarter? a long
time ago
188) Have you ever gotten BETTER THAN straight A's in a
semester/term/quarter? oh geez -- that's just crazy
189) Were your SAT's >= 1200 combined? aha
190) >= 1400 combined? almost but no
191) Have you ever made a technical joke? many
192) Did nobody get it? oh yeah
193) Have you ever asked a professor a question related to his/her field
that s/he could not come up with a good answer for (i.e.- s/he says
"let me think about it and I'll get back to you." Explaining that
that's a great paradox of science etc. does not count.) -- I probably
have
194) Have you ever bored someone with too much information (Profs and TA's
don't count for boring their classes. That is expected.) I do it all
the time
195) Have people ever joked about you as being a scientist, mathematician
or computer scientist? yeah, more than once
196) Are you better known by your computer name (login) than your real name?
Cyberpalace14 or ZaRocks? MAYBE
197) Have you ever taken a graduate class that you did not need to? no
198) as an undergraduate? no
199) Have people ever winced when they heard your major, field of study
or occupation? no
200) Have you ever taken a nerdity test? well of course not


PART FIVE- NERD SEX

For the following questions, a nerd counts as someone who would be likely
to score high on a nerdity test. Examples: Computer Electrical Engeneers,
Physics Profs, &c. Nerdity has nothing to do with purity. Gender does
not matter for these questions. People with high purity scores (younger
or more sensitive readers) should beware.

WARNING: THIS ONE IS GONNA BE FUN
-ZA

201) Have you ever flirted with a nerd? I FLIRT ALL THE TIME
202) Have you ever kissed a nerd? LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH
203) Have you ever made out with a nerd? IF ONLY...
204) Have you ever had sex with a nerd? I RAVISHED HER LIKE A WILDEBEAST
205) Have you ever had sex with two or more nerds in a 24 hour period? TRY
SEVEN
206) Have you ever had sex with a nerd to the point of orgasm? MULTIPLE
ORGASM, THAT IS
207) Have you ever had sex with a nerd to the point of mutual orgasm? I HAVE
NEVER DONE THAT
208) Have you ever had sex with the same nerd more than once in a 24
hour period or had one session of sex which lasted for three hours or
three orgasms, whichever came first? I CAN LAST ALL NIGHT BABY!
209) Have you ever had a steady relationship with a nerd? I'M A PLAYA
210) Have you ever had a steady relationship with more than one nerd
at a time, such that neither knew (or so you believed)? I TOLD YOU I'M
A PLAYA
211) Do you wear glasses? I used to
212) Do your glasses have tape on them? They used to
213) Do you wear dress slacks more than once a week? I have to dude
214) Do you own a shirt with equations, a picture of a scientist,
mathematician
or computer scientist, or a corporate logo on the front? (Note: those
wearing shirts with corporate logos are to be beaten severely. It's for
their own good.) I really wish I have
215) Do you wear a calculator? NO
216) Have you ever worn any of the items in 211-215 in order to seduce
someone? SEDUCTION ISN'T THE MOST APPROPRIATE TERM
217) Have you ever tried to pick someone up by reciting Pi? PI =
3.14159...2..........LET'S FUCK!
218) Euler's Number? no
219) Have you ever compared GPA's with someone? too many times to count!
220) SAT scores? that too
221) Have you ever placed a singles ad in the computer networks? i've never
gone that low
222) Have you ever met someone over the computer networks? when I was like,
13
223) Have you ever dated someone you met over the computer networks? c'mon
I'm not *that* much of a loser
224) Have you ever had sex with someone you met over the computer networks?
WHAT KINDA SEX ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
225) Have you ever had sex with someone via the computer? I'VE TRIED IT BUT
IT NEVER SEEMS TO WORK RIGHT
226) Have you ever lied about your gender over the computer? NO, BUT I'VE
TRIED TO SAY I'M A GIRAFFE
227) Have you ever had sex with someone over the computer while they
thought you were a different gender? THEY THOUGHT I WAS A SHE-GOAT
228) Have you ever read erotic material on a computer bulletin board or
newsgroup? Ok, I've done this seriously -- but not for awhile, ok?
229) Have you ever posted erotic material on a computer bulletin board
or newsgroup? I'm that that bad
230) Have you ever masturbated to erotic material you read on a computer
bulletin board or newsgroup? read? I don't know if you can "read" nude
photos
231) Have you ever seen a pornographic GIF? ahh -- there we go!
232) Do you collect pornographic GIFs? what do you think my server is for?
233) Have you ever masturbated to pornographic GIFs? I thought this question
was already asked!
234) Have you ever gotten turned on by a biology textbook? Endocrinology, to
be precise -- actually I was only 9 then so that doesn't really count!
235) Have you ever turned someone else on by reading them sections from
a biology textbook? I wouldn't know -- they never told me
236) Have you ever tried to pick someone up by asking them 'wanna fuck?'
REFER TO #217
237) Have you ever tried to pick someone up using a prop (i.e.- holding up
a screw and asking 'wanna screw?') I've done this before to someone at
the rink (won't way who)
238) Have you ever read a book about how to interact with people in order to
get friends? (come on, now, confess!) I DON'T READ DAMMIT!
239) Have you ever read a book or computer BBS/newsgroup article to find out
about sexual techniques? Sexual techniques? not precisely
240) Have you ever made love in a chemistry lab? ON TOP OF THE BUNSON
BURNERS
241) a physics lab? ON TOP OF THE MAGNETIC CARTS IN ROOM 214 at padua
242) a biology lab? IN A SINK in room 213
243) a computer lab? in my basement on many occasions
244) Have you ever picked someone up in one of the labs mentioned in
240-3 while class was in session? - WHY WOULDN'T I?
245) Have you ever petted or made out with someone in one of the labs
mentioned in 240-3 while class was in session? PETTED? THAT'S A LITTLE
PRUDE -- WE WENT AT IT DOGGY STYLE!
246) Have you ever made love with somebody in one of the labs mentioned
in 240-3 while class was in session? AND MISSIONARY STYLE
247) Did you do any of 240-6 and still get your work done in time? yeah, b/c
I'm smart enuff
248) Have you ever had an orgasm while performing an experiment or
programming a computer? (NB- this counts if you are waiting for
something to happen; making love while a program is compiling
or while a channel selector is counting photons counts.) - do mental
orgasms count?
249) Did you do #248 UNAIDED (the sheer excitement caused you to orgasm)? -
I COULDN'T HELP IT!
250) Have you ever offered to help someone out in math, science or
computer science in order to pick them up? - I DON'T GO THAT LOW

Another survey. How lovely!

*SECTION 1: BASIC INFO*

1. Full Name: Christopher Alexander Anthony Czaplicki
2. Nicknames: ZA, ZaRocks, ZAromus, Chris
3. Nationality: Polish/Russian, German
4. Siblings: A bro that is 35 and a sis that is 39. Boy, was I a
mistake :)
5. Girlfriend or Boyfriend: Currently none. I suffer from the typical
"nice guy" syndrome, but also my life is very busy that at this time I'm
probably best off not having a gf.
7. Birthdate: February 11, 1981.
8. Screen Name(s): is that not on here? ZaRocks, Cyberpalace14 -- I'm also
thinking of others at the present time as well...
9. Where You Live: Parma
10. Birthplace: Parma...how ironic
11. What you look like: I dunno -- most people say I look like the
typical teenage guy. I'm 5'8", 140-150 (depending on what I had for
lunch) -- I can't bench 500 but at least I can hold my own (thank you
steroids! -- j/k...i need 'em fer my breathing)

*SECTION 2: MORE INFO*
I
1. Beeper Code: I don't have a beepa -- hopefully never will either
(simplicity)
2. Favorite Salad Dressing: anything that tastes good
3. Where do you work?: The beloved ice rink. Hopefully I'll soon be
working for a computer company (PC On Call I'm hoping) but we'll see
4. Favorite Movie: Jurassic Park (esp. when it first came out),
Shawshank Redemption, American Beaury
6. Favorite Type Of Music: Classic rock (late 60's, 70's, 80's) --
video game music (orchestrated)
7. Favorite Car: The celebrity - Probably my bro's '98 camaro Z28
convertible
8. Type Of Car You Have Now: '89 Camaro still runnin' with almost
140,000 miles
9. Favorite Saying: Too many for me to mention. Simple things like
"HAY" or "BAH" are fun
10. Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: Burger King -- because the place by me
has 99-cent whoppers (almost) all the time
11. Favorite Ice Cream: Plain vanilla and I like sherbet a lot too
12. Favorite Soda: Pepsi, Pepsi, and Pepsi
13. Favorite Alcoholic Drink: since my last survey this has changed
from cough syrup to minty mouth wash
14. Favorite Holiday: Easter -- for all the reasons I have explained
in the last 2 years
15. Favorite Food: Pizza, Clam Chowder, Tal's Turkey sandwiches
.....mmmmm......
16. Favorite Song(s): Anything by Genesis (favorite songs change
periodically), most of the Beatles' stuff -- there's plenty of others here
too
17. Favorite Television Show(s): SNL, Married...with children,
Simpsons (I watched it like, religiously when I was 10 -- not that much
anymore), Jeopardy!
18. Favorite Radio Station: 97.5 is the best, followed by 98.5, 100.7,
105.7, 106.5 -- sorry Q104, I can listen to my "best of 2000" mix anytime :)
19. Favorite Junk Food: um...pizza, Doritos, Pretzels (although they
aren't really junk food), stuff
20. Favorite Candy: Sunkist fruit gems, anything sugar-coated :)
21. Favorite day of the week: Friday -- b/c I get to sleep in 2 days
straight (if I'm lucky, that is :)
22. Favorite color: Greenish
23. Favorite Shoes: Nikes -- everything else is pure crap
24. Favorite Sound: my dog crying to see me when I come home :)
25. Favorite Smell: warm pizza vs. fresh spring woods -- this is a
tough one
26. Favorite Brand of Gum: i don't chew gum but for the record I'll
say Ice Breakers
27. Favorite Animal: my dog stink.
28. Favorite Place to Sleep: usually downstairs, in my fart sack (ok
if you don't know what I'm talking about here disregard that)
29. Favorite Thing to Do in the Summer: Everything, as long as I'm with
someone...i like schwimmin', playing ball, playing cards outside while
listening to britney spears parodies, coming inside after a long, schweaty
day
30. Winter: bitching about how bad the weather is :)



*SECTION 3: THE FUTURE*

1. School: School? who needs that? For consistency purposes, I go to
Tri-C, which really isn't "school". It's more like, an excuse not to be a
total bum
2. Where You Want To Live: Here in Ohio or up in Maine, New hampshire,
etc.
3. How Many Kids You Want: Enough that I can spoil 'em all :)
4. What Kind Of Job You Want: Everything. Network Administrator would
be nice, as well as entrepreneur. Then you got the musical career and the
writer/philospher combo as well. I'm gonna have a busy life!
5. You Want To Get Married: One of these days...I'll have some phun
being single first until I decide I can't take it anymore :)

*QUESTIONS 4: WHICH IS BETTER:*
1. Coke Or Pepsi: RC Cola
2. Cats Or Dogs: What sound does a doggie make?
3. One Pillow Or Two: At least 2
4. Deaf Or Blind: That's tough i guess -- I'm already like, blind without
my contacts so at least I'd be pretty used to it.
5. Pools Or Hot Tubs: Probably the hot tub, but if the pool is warm
that's just as good (as long as the pee content isn't too high)
6. Television Or Radio: radio
7. Cds Or Tapes: mp3's
8. Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos: both are equally good, but
spicy nachos are significantly better
9. Mud wrestling or Jello wrestling?: mud -- why waste perfectly good
jello? Unless it's women wrestling then you can eat it right off 'em after
they're done! Well, I guess it depends on what kinda women we're talking
about here :)

*QUESTIONS 5: WHAT IS:*
1. Love: Oh geez -- commitment, acceptance, willingness to do anything
in the best interest of the other
2. Your Most Prized Possession: This is a tough choice between my
laptop and my server. But now that I have my DSL modem... Wait -- I think
i'm missing the point here! of course it's my friends (even though I dont
posses them)
3. The Thing That Makes You The Happiest: ok -- there's a difference
between "highest" and "happiest" I think. I'm probably happiest when I'm
with a whole bunch of friends at a ZaFest or somethin' like that and
everyone else is happy (and we all "feed" off each other)
4. The best number in the world: 14
5. The best memory of this year: that's tough b/c nothing *big* has
happened this year yet. So far it's probably gotta do with the whole job
thing.
6. The Best Thing That Has Ever Happened To You: All the things that
led up to my "personality transformation" during Junior year of high school
7. Your Favorite Slow Song: Genesis - Afterglow, Beatles - Golden
Slumbers
8. The grossest thing you've ever eaten: i avoid anything that might taste
bad so I really can't recall anything...
9. Too many to describe
10. The best feeling in the world: waking up on a warm, carefree
summer
morning and smelling the outdoors air and then having a carefree day of
nothingnes and whatever you want -- ya hit the nail on the head Alex!
11. The worst feeling in the world: nothing to do...no one
around...nowhere to go

*QUESTIONS 8: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT:*
1. Abortion: the worst possible thing -- to end an innocent life
2. Love: Love God as He has loved you. Love your neighbor as yourself
3. Death: Life is changed, not ended

*QUESTIONS 9: WHO:*
1. Makes You Laugh The Most: Everyone in their own little ways
2. Do you hate: I can honestly say I don't hate anyone
3. Knows The Most About You: Everyone that has known me since HS
4. Do you trust the most: Joe, alex, eddie, bernie
5. Seems to be the most down to earth: Bernie
6. Has It Easier, Guys Or Girls: Guys

*QUESTIONS 10: GENERAL QUESTION:*
1. Do You Ever Save AOL Conversations: once in a great while, but I
have the bad habit of formatting my hard drive every couple months and
forgetting to save 'em
2. Do You Save Emails: Everything in the past 2 years baby!
3. Do You Save Pictures People Send You: Refer to #1
4. How Many People On Your Buddy List: 61 or somethin' like that
5. When Are You Usually Online: usually all the time, now that I have the
permanent internet connection.
6. Do You Like Motorcycles: my brother just got a hog -- haven't rode
it yet...I really like the "mini-bikes" or scooters to take into the woods
'n' stuff
7. What Are Your Favorite Stores: best buy, compUSA
10. Are You A Player: it depends on what I'm playing with :)
11. When Do You Go To Sleep: usually around midnight-1am
12. When Do You Wake Up: if I work at 9 i'm usually up by
8:45...otherwise around noon :)
13. Do you sleep with a nightlight: I used to but not anymore
14. What's underneath your bed: the Quizzard and other assorted games
15. What do you wear to bed?: the BIG BOY shirt (most comfortable
thing in the world) + boxers
16. Is your bed made: what???
19. What do you think of Ouiji boards: what's a Ouiji board? Oh --
those things! Um...they taste good
20. Where do you wish you were right now: "There's no place I'd rather
be!" (than here)
21. Are you righty, lefty, or ambidextrious: probably nothing
22. What's on the walls of your room: my room or my basement? Since most of
you guys know more about my basement, I've got lots of software boxes,
pictures, antiques, a Warcraft III poster, the ZA Board, and that's about it
23. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: i only keep my right
hand on the right keys. I keep my left hand on the left keys
24. Do you eat chicken with a fork or your fingers: my fingas
25. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be? that's tough
because I'm not looking to get a tatto anytime soon -- probably something
religious like a crucifix or an "innocent lamb"
26. Who was the person that sent this to you: Alex -- he's interesting
28. What do you think of them? no comment

Insert Song Title Here

It is now officially ZA tradition to make the subject of all my e-mails a
song title. Of course you probably haven't heard of most of them...but if
you've been keeping tabs my last few e-mail subjects have been song titles
as well.

I was very, very close to making this *THE* long, happy e-mail I've been
talking about...but there's still a few holes that need work before I can do
that. I am in a very good mood today (as opposed to last night), but it's
really snowy out -- and I gotta goto work and job interview tomorrow.

Which brings up another point -- I am almost positive I will be offered a
good full-time job already, but I still have this interview for another job
tomorrow. It's pretty seems awkward as how to approach this situation. Oh
well. When it rains it pours I guess...or somethin' like that I guess.

Well, another end to another week. It started out beautiful and sunny...and
then it turns into this snowy quagmire that we see out the window tonight.
Why does it have to be like that??? I dunno...it's a craaazy world out
there and I'm not the one who controls the skies. I'd first like to wish
everyone safe journeys on the roads tomorrow. They are treacherous!!!
Enuff of that!

Eddie and Christina come home this week -- we didn't do that much since
someone was a little under the weather, and I was sorta busy with
everything. Well, that's quite all right -- I'll be taking a roadtrip
soon!!!

That's about it for now actually! AIM is down (for some odd reason) but
that's ok for the time being...I can go read my computer book(s) and listen
to some atmospheric muzak. C y'all later!

-Chris so-so-zando-cookie

Shine on you Crazy Diamond

What a peaceful, relaxing song...Shine on you crazy diamond, that is. I'm
not the biggest fan of Pink Floyd but once in awhile it's pretty cool.
Especially this 13-minute epic. Whatever. It's approaching 2 am and I'm
ready to conk out here any minute. It's been such a busy week around here
with so much going on, that I'm ready to sleep at least 16 hours tonight.
So much has happened in the past few days, and I've written about most of it
already, so now it's time for me to sit back, relax and enjoy myself for
awhile. Maybe just a little more than awhile, how 'bout that? I thought it
sounded good.

Well, springtime is like, the best part of the year -- I've already
explained why so I really don't have to say much more about that. Tomorrow
is gonna snow or somethin' around here so I say "uck" to that. Oh well, the
weather only gets better from here -- and at least we aren't all sweating in
95 degree heat. Which is cool (pun fully intended) hahahaha. What else can
I say? Everything is going RIGHT. Is there any stopping me? Well, yes and
no I guess. But for the most part I've built myself a solid enough
foundation that if the walls come tumbling down, I got backup plans. I said
in the survey that this is the greatest feeling in the world. Now that I'm
pretty much in the situation, am I feeling the greatest I ever have? Not
especially. I mean, I don't feel *bad* but there have been many times in my
life that I've felt "better". I guess we'll never actually true euphoria
until after we die. Maybe...maybe not -- I guess it depends on what you've
experienced and what you believe.

I think the greatest feeling you get is caused when something happens that
you least expect. (something good, of course) On the flip side, the worst
feelings are usually caused by something that is least expected. (see the
little harmonic balance here?) I guess that's why I always say that
"predictability" can make your life totally unbearable. And I think I'm
getting at something here -- I think we can all agree that there is a moral
basis to this as well. When I talk about "predictability" I don't only mean
events in life -- but other actions such as cloning and even contraception.
Things like this are what the Bible speaks out against -- and I think the
explanation is plain to see. I'd just hate to go through life where
everything is pre-decided. Just like the song "Subdivisions" by Rush. --
"Growing up it all seems all one-sided -- opinions all provided -- the
future pre-decided". The song itself refers to common suburban life, and I
think it makes the point fairly well. I could go on hours and hours writing
about urban sprawl, the interstate highway system and how society has abused
advanced modes of transportation -- but we won't go there right now -- it's
2:07 AM for cryin' out loud!

Traps. They aren't good. A lot of people -- young and old fall into traps.
Most of these traps are psychological, such as bad habits and addictions --
and others are physical things like massive debts and just things like that.
College is a time when a lot of young adults fall into traps. They aren't
easy to get out of, but they are scattered around everywhere just waiting to
eat you alive. And hey, let's face it -- a lot of people fall into some
sorta trap. I know I did, even though it wasn't that serious at all. But
once we get out of 'em we're stronger to face even greater challenges.

Risks. Some are good -- some are bad. It can be pretty difficult to tell
which is which, but it's something that NEEDS to be done before considering
taking any kind of risk. If you don't take ANY risks you're never gonna
accomplish ANYTHING beyond a minimum-wage job at McDonalds :) Probably a
bad analogy (since most McDonalds hire above minimum-wage), but you get the
picture. What really frustrates me is that my parents don't let me take
risks. Or at least I have to be secretive about anything that I may do that
goes against that "predictability" thing. Grr...brings out an entire den of
tigers in you!

Boo. Booyah. Extra crispy. Giraffes for a billion.

And of course an extra dose of caffeine to keep me up this late. It's all
good. I'm just really tired now from all the days' activities. How do I do
it? The same way you guys accomplish all the stuff (all the little things)
you do.

Karma. I can write all day about this too. So I'll wait until another day.
But keep it in ur mind b/c it's important!

-Chris A. Czaplicki

Good stuff...ONLY good stuff!

Yeah, you've probably heard me say it over and over again -- Good
stuff...only good stuff happens. Well, the whole entire thing might seem
like a paradox and well, it is. I think Alex quoted it best when he said
"Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Stronger. Just like Britney
Spears :) Funny, very funny. Now since that's out of ur system, I'll shed
some good news at least for myself.

It seems as though the pursuit of a REAL job has come to a successful point,
at least for now. Hopefully I'll be working full-time by the end of April
for a technology company in Middlebug Hts, installing and configuring
computer systems. We shall see...all they have to do is check my refs and
I'm in. Which is coolness to the max, or so it seems right now. I'm really
looking forward to taking the first step towards actually supporting myself
and of course, independence!

Other than that, it's such a BEAUTIFUL DAY and I wish it would never
end...but sadly enough it probably will by the weekend. Oh well, I'll enjoy
it while I can!

There's this humungous figure skating tournament at the rink this weekend
(it actually started today) so I'll be working extra hours at the rink. But
there's a lot of cool people there and hopefully I'll get a nice bonus for
all my hard work and dedication.

Until later (who knows, I'll probably write another e-mail pretty soon) --
have a GRRRREAT day and live life to the fullest!!!
-Chris

One of those crazy surveys 8 years before they hit Facebook by storm

> Okay, here's what you're supposed to do:
> 1. Start a new e-mail to send.
> 2. Change all of the answers so that they apply to
> you.
> 3. Then, send this to a whole bunch of people you know
> INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory is
> that you will learn a lot of little known facts about
> your friends. Here goes:
>
> 1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT? My house...er...my parents house actually. Most
of the time I'm here in the catacombs of the basement (aka Za Shack) but I
sleep in my room upstairs.
> 2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I don't read books. I only write them!
> 3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSEPAD? It's a circular mouse pad w/some company
called 'Medcast' and I have no idea what it is. Parents probably got it for
like, 10 cents at a garage sale or somethin'
> 4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Lots of 'em. I don't play board games too much
any more in favor of computer games. But I still enjoy stuff like Monopoly,
Trivial Pursuit, and the wonderful, underful Game of Life!
> 5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? PC magazine, PC monthly, um...InQuest(?) -- i don't
read much -- period. Of course there's those e-zines that I like to peruse
at times
> 6. FAVORITE SMELL? Fresh ZA! Can't beat it!
> 7. FAVORITE SOUNDS? An atmospheric harmony of sounds that soothes the ear
and the soul. Or else an epic build-up of song and sound that ends in a
peaceful, joyous melody (i.e. end of Supper's Ready)
> 8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Having absolutely nothing to do, with no
one around, and no motivation to change things because it's "so
comfortable", but it eats ya up inside.
> 9. BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD? When everything is going right and there's
no stoppin' ya!
> 10. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE
> UP IN THE MORNING? Do I REALLY have to get up? Nah. (hits snooze)
> 11. ROLLER COASTER: SCARY OR EXCITING? exciting all the way, baby!
> 12. HOW MANY RINGS TO ANSWER THE PHONE? As quick as I can -- except when
i'm sleeping and I wait for my parents to get it in like, 3 or 4. Then if
not, I'll hop outta bed and get it.
> 13. FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAME? Anything good
> 14. FUTURE SON'S NAME? Ya gotta love Chris Jr., but other names aren't
ruled out either
> 15. FAVORITE FOODS? > Pizza, Chicken/Turkey, Clam Chowder, Fish, all the
normal schtuff I guess...
> 16. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? vanilla
> 17. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? A question that I hate to answer because
everyone has a definition of 'driving fast'. Usually not, but I get
place-to-place fast b/c I know how to time lights and switch lanes
efficiently. I'm glad to say that I haven't driven over 80 since my 18th
birthday -- i had my fun as a minor and as an adult I can't afford to f*ck
up things
> 18. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Not for about 8 or 9
years...before that I had all my 'imaginary friends' that animated and came
to life while I was asleep!
> 19. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY? Coolest thing since ice cream
> 20. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? '89 Camaro -- still drive it, of course and
I love that car!
> 21. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO
> WOULD IT BE? Hrmm...that's a tough one -- of course Jesus would be on
top. Other than that, I'd love to meet famous musical artists, namely Peter
Gabriel and Lennon/McCartney
> 22. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Well, cough syrup I guess...since it's the
only thing I really drink w/alcohol in it :)
> 23. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Aquarius -- I have no idea what that means
> 24. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Broccoli? EWWWW!
> 25. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD
> IT BE? I think if I ever had a 'dream job' I'd get tired of it really
quick. But for the record I'd love to be a musical artist (music is my
greatest passion), or maybe a highly-credited writer/philospher
> 26. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD
> IT BE? - Ok...hair dye isn't for everyone, and that probably includes
myself -- doesn't mean that I would never try dabbling w/it ever (hint).
Actually, as a kid my hair was blonde and it naturally got darker over the
years. Well, I've tried getting it a "little" lighter and well, I did just
that. Most people can't even tell the difference, but I definitely can.
> 27. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? "In Love" is such a broad term that whatever I
say may be misinterpreted and I get burned for it. So then, I say 'Yes and
No', depending on which answer you like best.
> 28. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR FULL? It's gotta be half full, man!
You're asking the Za Meister, the optimist!
> 29. FAVORITE MOVIES? I don't watch too many movies, but I particularly
enjoyed Jurassic Park (when it first came out it was the greatest), American
Beauty, Shawshank Redemption
> 30. ARE YOU A LEFTY OR A RIGHTY? Righty, although I try my best to
integrate both hands as much as possible, so my right arm doesn't appear
twice as big as my left (which actually happens at times, esp. after working
out)
> 31. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? I type like, 60-70
wpm so I must be doing somethin right!
> 32. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Lemme think. The Quizzard :) And probably
some misc. games I don't use anymore. Don't forget huge masses of dirt
either!
> 33. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 14 -- Yes Joe -- same here. I dunno
why, it just is.
> 34. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Basketball, Baseball, Hockey (Live)
> 35. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO
> SENT THIS TO YOU: Hey Joe -- what's up? Remember Mrs. O'Malley's English
class 6 years ago? Well, since then you've proven yourself intelligent,
friendly, and always keeping ME motivated to achieve the goals we both
share.

ZA Weekly - 3/19/01

After long battles with my emotions, I finally feel I'm ready to give in and
actually title one of my e-mails as "ZA Weekly". It's been awhile since I
have actually done this, and probably for more reasons than you can shake a
stick at. Or fewer -- just depends on which side of the coin you're on.
Now you're REALLY confused!

It may become ZA tradition to comment on my previous e-mail each time I send
something. Not only does it enable me to clarify some confuzzing parts, but
it also let's me reflect upon all that I've said when I was possibly in a
completely different emotional state. Well, not much has changed since
Friday night -- it's still COLD outside, but the worst is over, I hope :)
Only a couple short weeks until the Easter bunny hops to your doorstep...
Once again I promise I will NOT dress up as the Easter Rabbit, Peter
Cottontail, or anything in between. I will, in fact prepare to do the
following:

-Buy at least 7 or 8 cases of Marshmallow, sugar-coated Peeps and Bunnies
(because they're really good and they accelerate tooth decay by 121%)
-Go outside and get all dirty and play with stink (because I CAN) and it's
fun too
-Try not to step or roll in dog poo doing the above :)
-Play golf -- hopefully sooner than later!
-Take a nice roadtrip with the WINDOWS DOWN listenin' to some classic rock
tunes and beeping at the beautiful women as they pass by
-Get a real job. This was supposed to happen awhile ago but as my entire
life story goes, right when I'm about to seize an opportunity (get my BIG
break) my arms are magically removed by an unidentified source right when
I'm right about to reach out and grab it (moral of story: opportunity erased
due to reasons beyond my control -- i thank my parents for a lot of this
grief)
-Get some kind of web site or radio station or somethin' up on the internet.
Yeah, we've started to a little, but it still has to blossom
-Avoid the use of the following words or phrases: "Heinz tomato ketchup,
imitation vanilla extract, honkey, yum, BAH"
-Mr. Peepers has a new skit (actually it's already like, 4 weeks old) This
one takes place in the hit TV series "Dawson's Creek". Hrmmm...what could
that be all about?
-Actually have money to do everything mentioned above (and below too)
-Create music, play music and maybe even like -- form some sorta musical
group (What ever happened to "The Letter 2"?)
-Gain some more weight (this is like, a goal in EVERY e-mail of mine that
mentions goals) I know everyone is like, yelling obscenities at their
screen right now :)
-Burn CD's with at least a 50% success rate. I know -- my style of burnin'
isn't the most effective but myself as a person am not very effective either
-Eat 25 pounds of fish in the next 4 weeks. This should also expedite the
completion of other goals on this list.
-I'll make sure I don't catch Legionnaire's disease from my sister either.
Her case was totally isolated from the Ford one and it wasn't as serious.
Actually, the doctors couldn't identify what she had until the news hit --
she had the bug for like, a week before the outbreak. But she's getting
treated and is doing fine, thankfully.
-I also plan to make some sanctions on MP3 playing at the Za Shack as well.
Actually, i'll let everyone else make their own.
-Actually host a ZaFest one of these days :)
-And not get in trouble for certain things
-I cannot for the life of me think of anything else. I guess because I got
a prison guard upstairs by the name of Mom and she knows everything that
I've typed from listening to the distinct tone of every key I press. Grr...
-Actually that last one was a joke, only because she doesn't know much about
computers. Otherwise, I'd be explaining to her why I would fear rolling in
dog poo. I still haven't fully explained why people call me ZA yet, either.

Ok -- enough ripping on the parents...It's getting late once again, and I
gotta work in the mornin' Actually I feel like calling off. Uncle Ralphie
is gonna love this!

In my next e-mail I will be confessing the overall tone of arrogance that I
have expressed in this message. Nah...I just gotta let out steam :)

-Chris

Bit's 'n' Bytes

Ok -- it's like, mid-March and we're still in the 20's and 30's. Ok,
ok...the weather has been pretty good so far but I just really hate all this
shitty sleet 'n' schtuff that's going on. I just want it to be warm on a
consistent basis -- so I can actually go outside and do stuff! I need to
get some extra oxygen :) Yeah, that's what I thought!

So in the past week, I have dabbled with wireless networking, supported my
addiction to Tetris, consumed probably about 2 pounds of Hot Pepper cheese
as well as lots and lots of turkey. What else could you expect from the Za
Meister? Ahh -- it's not biggie. Then there's the rink, which I really
work hard at...at least most of the time. You see, there's like, this huge
figure skating competition going on next week, and I'll probably be there
for most of it. I still really don't know what I'll be doing (besides sit
around), but chances are I'll enjoy myself with all the ongoing festivities.

In the week ahead, I really hope to have even more phun 'n' stuff with
friends. Computers are our friends, too ya know -- so I'll probably do a
lot of typing and schtuff. Yay. This laptop has the coolest keyboard...you
could type at it all day. But I don't think I'll be typing too much more -
it's 2:38 AM, but I don't have to work until tomorrow night, although I can
be expected to stop in at the rink this afternoon to work on the music for
the Learn-to-Skate ice show. Which reminds me to tell everyone that I had
to teach "Tiny Blades" on Tuesday afternoon. Little 5 and 6-year-olds all
over the place while I tried frantically to keep control. It was
interesting to say the least :) Of course, this doesn't me that I'm gonna
quit my day job and become a permanent skating instructor. By no means...I
think Lisa would back me up on that decision :)

This week marks Spring Break for the OSU students, including the most
intelligent students Eddie and Christina. We will all have tons and tons of
fun and excitement as we go from place to place trying to sell gold-plated
scissors, or other useless household accessories. Actually, that's not true
at all -- in fact, I really have absolutely no idea what we're going to do
but it will probably involve silly string, a live dog and my mom yelling at
me for scaring the live dog with silly string. Wait -- I already did that
once and I really don't want to go thru the harassment again :) Oh well,
I'll find something new and even more creative. We shall see. My sis has
the UNO cards still and she is using them tomorrow so after that all is
well. Euchre is also a possiblity but not with 3 people. Looks like we
could play war. Hey ChrisK -- ya know how to play Starcraft yet?

WhatEver. The NCAA tourney has begun and I know for sure that the Joes have
all their brackets made out. Good luck there.

Oh -- and that last e-mail...who knows what I'm talking about there!
Sometimes I'm just so full of energy that I have to write shit that I don't
even know what I'm actually writing about. Not that I don't think I wrote
it well, but who knows. One of these days I really want to write a book
about life and stuff like that...and I'm just trying to perfect my skillz as
a writer. That will be fun. If you have any suggestions please drop me a
line. Yeah, I'm a pretty serious, candid person but at the same time I love
to have lots of fun, and like to put a lot of new twists to everything.
Remember, unpredictability is the next best thing to heaven. Or so it seems
at times.

Anyways, back to the weather...it's almost spring time. Spring is my
favorite season for countless reasons. I mean -- it gets warmer, the birds
are chirping -- the sun is out and I'm always in a good mood (when it's not
raining). But at least it gives promise and it's a lot better than fall.
Boo to fall. I just wish it would die. But then again we need something to
keep the equilibrium going.

So I leave y'all on this final note: Take chances -- if you don't, you're
never gonna know what could possibly lie ahead. Whether good or bad, it
will provide an experience vital to the rest of your life.

-Chris (Mr. ZA)

In the Air Tonight

...and I can feel it -- comin' in the air tonight -- oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life

Or maybe the moment has just begun. Actually, it has. 20 years of a really
crazy life is just the beginnings of what's in store for the future. A
really really lot if I do say so myself. But of course actions speak louder
than words, and I've been doing a couple things differently than I have
previously. I have always seen myself as altruistic and benevolent, but in
the past I have only done so to gain acceptance among my peers. Well, I
really don't think I have to prove too much more to you guys -- I hope :)

I really don't want this e-mail to go into a deep, philisophical mood about
the past. Instead, it's more like taking a little trip back and looking at
how I've acted and changed thru the years. No -- not even that... The past
is gone, for the most part. I so much want to cling onto it (esp. my high
school years) and yes -- there's time for reminiscing and nostalgia, but
then again it's more important to pay attention to reality: I'm 20 years
old, currently en route to full-time employment, independence -- and of
course I am continuing my education to become more credible in the field
which I wish to commit my career to. That commitment part is really tough.
If you make a wrong decision you're gonna have to go back to square one and
start over. And as I mentioned in a previous e-mail, it's something we
college students have to agonize over a lot. This is especially true for
young adults who have been fortunate enough to enjoy a very high level of
education so far -- and have even greater aspirations. They are expected to
perform well, and any setbacks will not only lower their esteem, but also
lessen their credibility to those with similar credentials. Unless of
course you have no problem making mistakes -- which doesn't happen very
often. Even the most patient of people such as myself become very
frustrated with repeated failures to achieve.

Ok -- that may be the most educated set of sentences I've written in like, 2
years :) But I guess I'll write a lot more like that once I really get the
inspiration to sit down for entire days and just write and think without
random thoughts going through my head. Right now, there's not too much
randomness in my head -- I guess that's why I really haven't been writing
too much craaazy schtuff lately, I dunno. Of course that doesn't mean I've
lost my creative right-brained side...it just goes to show that my attitude
has changed somewhat in the past few weeks, and will continue to change
(eventually, it will probably complete a full cycle) but who cares about
that.

There are a couple more points I'd like to make before leaving y'all, even
though I could probably just hit 'Send' and make everyone satisfied for
awhile. But let's not :) Lets open even more cans of worms. I wanna be
bold. I have balls. Big balls. Although most people know that already by
the actions I have taken, and of course I'm always the one writing lots of
weird things on e-mail. Oh well, that's just the way I am :)

Ok -- my mind has gone blank temporarily (aka brain fart). Ahh yes, I was
gonna give my 2 pesos about life -- and about how things will change for us
in the future. I'm not really talking about when I'm 40, but more like 5
years or so. Where do I want to be when I'm 25? If I'm lucky I'll be able
to retire a multi-millionaire, but that won't happen too easily...and I'm
really not too worried about $$$ right now. It's actually sort of scary
when you really think about it -- what sorta job can I expect? How about
home? Will I own a house? Will I have a family to support by then? What
do I really want? $200k/yr or a simple, low-stress life with a lot of close
friends. I bet most of you would choose the second option -- but it's
different for everyone, really. Simplicity can go both ways. Your life is
pretty much "do whatever you want because no one really cares one way or
another" sorta thing. That all sounds fine 'n' dandy, I guess. But GET
REAL -- we're human beings! If nobody cares what you do that makes you the
most worthless waste of space. Life isn't about getting up at noon every
day and going on vacations every 3 weeks because there's nothing better to
do. I can't cite any examples of this sorta life, but I sometimes dream
that I could do it. I have this huge master plan of making 4-10 million in
a very short period of time and then living off interest for the rest of my
life. Yeah, it may sound great in the short term -- but you gotta live
another 50-75 years like that! The truth is -- I cannot survive a week
without contact with anyone...it's absolutely impossible!!!

Then you got the complete opposite "workaholic" attitude where you've got
such an incredibly huge amount of stress that you can't sit around one
minute just to enjoy life. Sure, it feels great at times to know that you
have a great deal of influence, but it doesn't really matter if you're
totally broken as a person on the inside. There are a far greater number of
these people than those in the first situation -- at least it seems that
way. I guess our society drives people to be workaholics. And many times
it backfires -- our people as a whole don't suffer, but instead it is the
individual. Many are not happy being constantly driven to perform 110%
24/7. It's not fun at all. Of course you get a nice phat paycheck and you
get a nice big house out in the middle of nowhere -- but besides that --
what do you really have? Maybe the power and influence you possess is only
virtual. What happens if the market crashes and your company folds??? What
do you have left? Simple answer -- not much. I believe this is why so many
adults young and old have problems with their personal and family life. But
what do I know -- I'm just a 20-year-old "kid" who hasn't even felt the
slightest dose of pain yet. I don't know why or how I come up with these
observations when I haven't even experienced the least bit of the "real
world" yet. It is very interesting that even the most learned and respected
social philosphers share the same views as myself. Oh yeah -- I know why!

2 words -- common sense

Yeah, that's it! I knew there was a simple explanation for it all. It
ain't that hard to decipher the human psyche if you are a human being
yourself. I suppose it's a little easier when you're a very intelligent
human being. Or somethin' like that. Ok -- i'm rambling :)

Moving right along -- I just mentioned 2 different lifestyles that are on
the extreme opposite ends of the spectrum. Are they really that different
from each other? In some ways, yes. (Now is when I really wish I was still
in Mr. Stec's lifestyles class :) It is probably safe to say that all of us
have an ideal lifestyle that fit somewhere in between these 2 examples.
Yay. Now I can move on. As with every other little thing in this world,
the "key" is finding the "equilibrium" within these two ranges. And that
point is different for every individual out there. That's right, that's
French those children are speaking.

Ok -- I find myself going off on a tangent now. I think it's time to call
it quits ;)

The most honored and learned
-Chris A. Czaplicki

DSL is here!

Such a contrast from before -- ooh yes, I've got tons and tons of schtuff
going on right now

First off, just to let everyone know that hasn't heard yet -- I now have DSL
service which means that I can surf the internet at blazing speeds (and
download schtuff fast too). And in addition, you'll never get a busy signal
if you try to call me here at (440)884-9267! Yay.

Next, I'm in line to get a really good job doing computer tech work driving
around doing service calls. I really hope this works out well, because this
is the EXACT sorta job I want, and the hours are flexible and the pay is
awesome! All I need to do is pass a drug test (hope they don't turn me down
for excessive caffeine) and I'm all set!

And to make things even better, everyone is starting to come home for spring
break, which is just the greatest! I get to see all my friends once again
and we all have tons of fun together. Yay. Double yay even.

Ok...I don't have too much more to say because I got sooooo much to do, here
at 11:35pm! I wish everyone the greatest of luck at school and hope
everyone has a great day!

-Chris A. Czaplicki
ZAZAZAZA master ZA

Supper's Ready

What a great song...especially b/c I can play it on the keyboard fairly well
too. Well, here it goes: this ISN'T the long, happy e-mail I intend to send
out at a later date. It's moreless a somewhat serious look at things and
people and all sorts of stuff.

Anyways, tomorrow I got this job interview for doing PC tech work 'n'
schtuff, so if I get that I will be incredibly ecstatic and might write and
write and write till my fingers bleed. But not yet...I'm not ready, I
guess.

Although my credit cards still have balances, I have everything very
managable as to say I am finally IN CONTROL of everything once again. THANK
GOD! It's been tough these last few months. I don't think I have to give
anymore updates on that :) Yeehaw! I'm happier than a mexican jumping
bean!!!!

As I sit here, I somewhat wonder what exactly I want to write about.
Situations. Situations that you feel somewhat awkward in that are a part of
growing up. I am an adult now, I have pulled away from my parents and ready
to start a life of my own. It isn't easy, as every last one of you guys
know. In fact, it has gotta be the very toughest, most stressful and quite
possibly emotionally tolling too. Making the conversion. Conversion --
what does it mean? I wonder... I guess you can sum it up as the ages
between 18 and 25 when you've finally become a full-fledged adult and are
ready to move on, as I mentioned above. There's no one way to do it...or
any one piece of advice you can give to everyone. I know a lot of people my
age try to escape this reality in divulging in mindless, childish games (I
don't think I really don't have to go into details -- I THINK EVERYONE KNOWS
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT).

Well, the weak will eventually learn (the hard way, unfortunately) and the
strong will tough it out through the absolute worst of times. I, myself
have gone through a relatively easy stretch so far. There's been a fairly
high level of anxiety at some points, and I admit there have been a lot of
big emotional swings, as well as finding myself doing some crazy shit at
times (ok maybe you never found me doing it and maybe that's probably a good
thing :) But we all do some crazy things when times are rough and it's
nothing to be worried about...as long as you can keep your emotions somewhat
under control! I dunno...high school life was the greatest b/c you didn't
have to worry about ANYTHING, except maybe your gpa...you can have the
absolute greatest time without a care until you had to get up early saturday
morning to camp at the mailbox and "intercept" the evidence :) I KNOW FOR A
FACT THERE'S QUITE A FEW PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THERE!

Then there's college life. It's so much different than high school because
everything isn't all pre-decided and you actually have to THINK! Oh
no...not that! Actually, it can really become annoying in transition
because you're so used to having things come so easy as it did in HS. You
gotta meet a whole new set of people...possibly live hundreds of miles away
from home -- or else be stuck w/your parents for at least another 4 years.
Both of which definitely have some positives and negatives. At some points
those +'s and -'s can really escalate and you find yourself totally lost in
a huge oblivion. You're confused. You made your OWN decisions for the
first time, and you are beginning to second-guess some of them. Oh no.
You've made a mistake. You'll make approximately 158,928 more of them in
your life. Hopefully less, but you'd better learn to get over #1 before
moving on, or else you're doomed. Well, not literally but it helps being
able to overcome small obstacles before taking on bigger ones. What's gonna
happen once you get that nice pretty piece of paper and want to get a job?
No one is gonna hold your hand. So ya better learn NOW!

Learning always came to me naturally, but this is a different type of
"learning". It isn't memorizing all those annoying definitions or trying to
figure out redox equations. Now that's a blast from the past :) Moving
right along...learning the game of life comes naturally to some people it
seems. They can just live day to day and never have any problems -- or so
it seems. I think everyone goes through some kind of crisis or total
breakdown sometime during their young adulthood. They might not know it, or
be strong enough to admit it. That's when things get really tough, when no
one else knows that you are having so many problems. But hopefully that
isn't too much of a problem with everyone I am writing to.

I know I'm not a psychologist or anything...but I like to analyze situations
like this. It's plain to see that transition causes a lot of emotional
highs and lows. I've experienced it myself, and sometimes it just seems
that no one ever wants to make it apparent. So here I am. I'm a very shy
person but yet I'm the one writing all this heavy shit to everyone. Why am
I like this??? Am I crazy???

I like to consider myself "The Ringmaster" -- kinda like Jerry
Springer...but not really. I just have a few weaknesses about myself that I
find hard to figure out exactly "why" I have them.

I've considered this thought a little bit over the past few weeks and I'm
almost set on it: My intelligence is my own worst enemy. Or it can be at
times. In short...I think too much. Why do I believe this? A LOT of
reasons, in fact. Look back to the SIMPLIFICAITON/COMPLICATION e-mail
thread...what caused my problems? Making things more complicated than they
actually were -- and thinking about them too much. And the more I think
about things the more I confuse myself. Sorta like a rubiks cube. Or a
200-ft long string of tangled-up christmas lights. My most intelligent and
creative ideas come to me naturally. I just "come up" with them out of
nowhere -- I NEVER think them out. Strangely enough, a lot of my ideas are
originated in my dreams. I guess that's why I like to schleep a lot :)

But here is another very interesting observation, if anyone cares to read
about it. I have been playing Tetris (the old Nintendo game) here for the
last few days. I've noticed a some really weird patterns: I would start at
like Level 7 for the first 80 lines, mess up quite a bit. Then once I got
done with those 80 and I went to level 8, 9 and 10 all the little "holes"
and everything disappeared because I was fitting all the blocks absolutely
perfectly. Why? Because I didn't have a chance to THINK about where I was
putting them. My brain just sorta naturally told me where to put them and I
never thought about it. This is absolutely bizarre. Which sorta enforces
my argument that "I thrive on instability, or pressure". Because of the
fact that I don't have time to think about things -- I just make
decisions -- intelligent ones without any time to analyze or brainstorm.
What the hell does this all mean? I dunno...maybe I need professsional
help, or I can just keep playing this game. It's sorta fun in a way, but it
can get very frustrating too. Oh well, I got another good 100-120 years
left on this planet (or maybe less) so in that period of time I'll have time
to THINK about things :)

...And I can't get it out of my head...no no....no noooooo.....
-Chris A. Czaplicki