ZA Weekly - 3/19/01

After long battles with my emotions, I finally feel I'm ready to give in and
actually title one of my e-mails as "ZA Weekly". It's been awhile since I
have actually done this, and probably for more reasons than you can shake a
stick at. Or fewer -- just depends on which side of the coin you're on.
Now you're REALLY confused!

It may become ZA tradition to comment on my previous e-mail each time I send
something. Not only does it enable me to clarify some confuzzing parts, but
it also let's me reflect upon all that I've said when I was possibly in a
completely different emotional state. Well, not much has changed since
Friday night -- it's still COLD outside, but the worst is over, I hope :)
Only a couple short weeks until the Easter bunny hops to your doorstep...
Once again I promise I will NOT dress up as the Easter Rabbit, Peter
Cottontail, or anything in between. I will, in fact prepare to do the
following:

-Buy at least 7 or 8 cases of Marshmallow, sugar-coated Peeps and Bunnies
(because they're really good and they accelerate tooth decay by 121%)
-Go outside and get all dirty and play with stink (because I CAN) and it's
fun too
-Try not to step or roll in dog poo doing the above :)
-Play golf -- hopefully sooner than later!
-Take a nice roadtrip with the WINDOWS DOWN listenin' to some classic rock
tunes and beeping at the beautiful women as they pass by
-Get a real job. This was supposed to happen awhile ago but as my entire
life story goes, right when I'm about to seize an opportunity (get my BIG
break) my arms are magically removed by an unidentified source right when
I'm right about to reach out and grab it (moral of story: opportunity erased
due to reasons beyond my control -- i thank my parents for a lot of this
grief)
-Get some kind of web site or radio station or somethin' up on the internet.
Yeah, we've started to a little, but it still has to blossom
-Avoid the use of the following words or phrases: "Heinz tomato ketchup,
imitation vanilla extract, honkey, yum, BAH"
-Mr. Peepers has a new skit (actually it's already like, 4 weeks old) This
one takes place in the hit TV series "Dawson's Creek". Hrmmm...what could
that be all about?
-Actually have money to do everything mentioned above (and below too)
-Create music, play music and maybe even like -- form some sorta musical
group (What ever happened to "The Letter 2"?)
-Gain some more weight (this is like, a goal in EVERY e-mail of mine that
mentions goals) I know everyone is like, yelling obscenities at their
screen right now :)
-Burn CD's with at least a 50% success rate. I know -- my style of burnin'
isn't the most effective but myself as a person am not very effective either
-Eat 25 pounds of fish in the next 4 weeks. This should also expedite the
completion of other goals on this list.
-I'll make sure I don't catch Legionnaire's disease from my sister either.
Her case was totally isolated from the Ford one and it wasn't as serious.
Actually, the doctors couldn't identify what she had until the news hit --
she had the bug for like, a week before the outbreak. But she's getting
treated and is doing fine, thankfully.
-I also plan to make some sanctions on MP3 playing at the Za Shack as well.
Actually, i'll let everyone else make their own.
-Actually host a ZaFest one of these days :)
-And not get in trouble for certain things
-I cannot for the life of me think of anything else. I guess because I got
a prison guard upstairs by the name of Mom and she knows everything that
I've typed from listening to the distinct tone of every key I press. Grr...
-Actually that last one was a joke, only because she doesn't know much about
computers. Otherwise, I'd be explaining to her why I would fear rolling in
dog poo. I still haven't fully explained why people call me ZA yet, either.

Ok -- enough ripping on the parents...It's getting late once again, and I
gotta work in the mornin' Actually I feel like calling off. Uncle Ralphie
is gonna love this!

In my next e-mail I will be confessing the overall tone of arrogance that I
have expressed in this message. Nah...I just gotta let out steam :)

-Chris