In the Air Tonight

...and I can feel it -- comin' in the air tonight -- oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life

Or maybe the moment has just begun. Actually, it has. 20 years of a really
crazy life is just the beginnings of what's in store for the future. A
really really lot if I do say so myself. But of course actions speak louder
than words, and I've been doing a couple things differently than I have
previously. I have always seen myself as altruistic and benevolent, but in
the past I have only done so to gain acceptance among my peers. Well, I
really don't think I have to prove too much more to you guys -- I hope :)

I really don't want this e-mail to go into a deep, philisophical mood about
the past. Instead, it's more like taking a little trip back and looking at
how I've acted and changed thru the years. No -- not even that... The past
is gone, for the most part. I so much want to cling onto it (esp. my high
school years) and yes -- there's time for reminiscing and nostalgia, but
then again it's more important to pay attention to reality: I'm 20 years
old, currently en route to full-time employment, independence -- and of
course I am continuing my education to become more credible in the field
which I wish to commit my career to. That commitment part is really tough.
If you make a wrong decision you're gonna have to go back to square one and
start over. And as I mentioned in a previous e-mail, it's something we
college students have to agonize over a lot. This is especially true for
young adults who have been fortunate enough to enjoy a very high level of
education so far -- and have even greater aspirations. They are expected to
perform well, and any setbacks will not only lower their esteem, but also
lessen their credibility to those with similar credentials. Unless of
course you have no problem making mistakes -- which doesn't happen very
often. Even the most patient of people such as myself become very
frustrated with repeated failures to achieve.

Ok -- that may be the most educated set of sentences I've written in like, 2
years :) But I guess I'll write a lot more like that once I really get the
inspiration to sit down for entire days and just write and think without
random thoughts going through my head. Right now, there's not too much
randomness in my head -- I guess that's why I really haven't been writing
too much craaazy schtuff lately, I dunno. Of course that doesn't mean I've
lost my creative right-brained side...it just goes to show that my attitude
has changed somewhat in the past few weeks, and will continue to change
(eventually, it will probably complete a full cycle) but who cares about
that.

There are a couple more points I'd like to make before leaving y'all, even
though I could probably just hit 'Send' and make everyone satisfied for
awhile. But let's not :) Lets open even more cans of worms. I wanna be
bold. I have balls. Big balls. Although most people know that already by
the actions I have taken, and of course I'm always the one writing lots of
weird things on e-mail. Oh well, that's just the way I am :)

Ok -- my mind has gone blank temporarily (aka brain fart). Ahh yes, I was
gonna give my 2 pesos about life -- and about how things will change for us
in the future. I'm not really talking about when I'm 40, but more like 5
years or so. Where do I want to be when I'm 25? If I'm lucky I'll be able
to retire a multi-millionaire, but that won't happen too easily...and I'm
really not too worried about $$$ right now. It's actually sort of scary
when you really think about it -- what sorta job can I expect? How about
home? Will I own a house? Will I have a family to support by then? What
do I really want? $200k/yr or a simple, low-stress life with a lot of close
friends. I bet most of you would choose the second option -- but it's
different for everyone, really. Simplicity can go both ways. Your life is
pretty much "do whatever you want because no one really cares one way or
another" sorta thing. That all sounds fine 'n' dandy, I guess. But GET
REAL -- we're human beings! If nobody cares what you do that makes you the
most worthless waste of space. Life isn't about getting up at noon every
day and going on vacations every 3 weeks because there's nothing better to
do. I can't cite any examples of this sorta life, but I sometimes dream
that I could do it. I have this huge master plan of making 4-10 million in
a very short period of time and then living off interest for the rest of my
life. Yeah, it may sound great in the short term -- but you gotta live
another 50-75 years like that! The truth is -- I cannot survive a week
without contact with anyone...it's absolutely impossible!!!

Then you got the complete opposite "workaholic" attitude where you've got
such an incredibly huge amount of stress that you can't sit around one
minute just to enjoy life. Sure, it feels great at times to know that you
have a great deal of influence, but it doesn't really matter if you're
totally broken as a person on the inside. There are a far greater number of
these people than those in the first situation -- at least it seems that
way. I guess our society drives people to be workaholics. And many times
it backfires -- our people as a whole don't suffer, but instead it is the
individual. Many are not happy being constantly driven to perform 110%
24/7. It's not fun at all. Of course you get a nice phat paycheck and you
get a nice big house out in the middle of nowhere -- but besides that --
what do you really have? Maybe the power and influence you possess is only
virtual. What happens if the market crashes and your company folds??? What
do you have left? Simple answer -- not much. I believe this is why so many
adults young and old have problems with their personal and family life. But
what do I know -- I'm just a 20-year-old "kid" who hasn't even felt the
slightest dose of pain yet. I don't know why or how I come up with these
observations when I haven't even experienced the least bit of the "real
world" yet. It is very interesting that even the most learned and respected
social philosphers share the same views as myself. Oh yeah -- I know why!

2 words -- common sense

Yeah, that's it! I knew there was a simple explanation for it all. It
ain't that hard to decipher the human psyche if you are a human being
yourself. I suppose it's a little easier when you're a very intelligent
human being. Or somethin' like that. Ok -- i'm rambling :)

Moving right along -- I just mentioned 2 different lifestyles that are on
the extreme opposite ends of the spectrum. Are they really that different
from each other? In some ways, yes. (Now is when I really wish I was still
in Mr. Stec's lifestyles class :) It is probably safe to say that all of us
have an ideal lifestyle that fit somewhere in between these 2 examples.
Yay. Now I can move on. As with every other little thing in this world,
the "key" is finding the "equilibrium" within these two ranges. And that
point is different for every individual out there. That's right, that's
French those children are speaking.

Ok -- I find myself going off on a tangent now. I think it's time to call
it quits ;)

The most honored and learned
-Chris A. Czaplicki