Pancakes IS Ready!

Yeah, it's true that I'm usually in this little permanent 'dream state', and
go on totally off-the-wall rants about everything...I dunno. When I write
those totally confusing e-mails I just let my thoughts flow like molasses on
flapjacks. Pancakes IS Ready!!! Just kidding :) I guess when I look back
and read all the e-mails that I send (which I do pretty often) I wonder
myself how I could possibly write such weird and outlandish things.
Actually, it's not that tough for me to figure it out -- I just have to have
the right mindset and everything and I can talk about any topic under the
sun. Even appleness, if you remember Fr. Tony's class.

Well, right now I'm really not in that mindset. Actually, I'm currently in
a "return-to-reality" mode...doesn't mean that I've lost any of my creative
expressiveness, it's just that my attitude is a little different than when
I'm usually writing. It's fairly difficult to describe really...I can't say
for sure what turns my attitudes "on" or "off". If I only knew...because
I've been in this lethargic, partially petrified state for a very LONG time
now. It's not that I want to feel this way (i.e. "lazy") but I have
absolutely no motivation to do anything except for work and going out
w/friends. Which isn't terrible -- I mean -- I'm not depressed or
anything...it's just that "NOTHING HAPPENS" outside of what I want at the
time. The worst part is that there are so many things I really WANT to do
(mostly regarding work, education, etc.) that never gets done due to my lack
of attention? or motivation or somethin' like that. OK - maybe I'll stop
ranting about this issue now...many of you guys know what it's like I'm
sure, but I'm just giving it from my point of view...

Back to my "Reality" schpiel...it's just that right now I'm looking at
things with a "clear head" for the first time in months. I'm finally
resolving a lot of problems that I caused in the second half of last year
(refer to SIMPLIFICATION) and I'm almost ready to "Start Over". But not
yet...I'm not 100% totally comfortable with moving on, since there are a
couple 'finishing touches' I need to make before I make any big
announcements. Nevertheless, I can ALMOST truly say I am happy with the way
my life is going once again...or at least I'm happy with the way things are
headed. Needless to say, I'll write everyone a nice, blissful e-mail once
everything is officially resolved. I cannot project how long this will
take, but chances are they'll take place within the next month-and-a-half.
When everyone returns from school during spring break I'll be sure to throw
a big ZA FEST to celebrate the occasion!!!

Ooh -- maybe I'll now give my final 6 month review of 2000 so everyone knows
what actually happened:

July, 2000 - I had fun...lots and lots and lots of fun. Went to Cedar Point
w/friends, a concert, etc. Parents were camping almost every day so I had
the house entirely to myself most of the time. Then I had this doctor's
appt. where I took this breathing test and I did absolutely miserable on it.
They almost put me in the hospital for it. I felt absolutely horrible, but
took steps to improve things -- which I am very proud of now (1 thing
repaired)

August, 2000 - Even though I was still in absolutely terrible shape, I still
had a lot of fun with everyone -- I think that's when I went to the camper
w/Alex...anyways, things were all good until I learned that my internship
downtown would be ending at the conclusion of the month. That sucked, but
at the same time, I was sorta glad it was over. It was really beginning to
drag...A LOT. And I felt so absolutely worn down that I really didn't put
much effort or cared about my job too much. I DID upgrade my server to
Windows 2000 Advanced Server. That was fun. I also sold Alex, Brian and
Jerry their computers to take away to school. That was fun, and I had a lot
more room in my basement :) I went to this computer sale and bought another
$1000 in parts...which was sorta cool, but looking back it was an extra
$1000 that I really should've saved. But oh well. My job at the rink was
also in jeopardy. One of my checks that I made out to pay for Jessica (the
girl that I hit w/snowball) bounced, and so the parents were totally irate
and called the city law director on me. Boo. But after several meetings
with the recreation commissioner I was able to get everything resolved and
got my job back. (2 things repaired)

September 2000 - Ok - most of my friends were off to school, still had Eddie
and Chris around...but that's about it. I was sorta sucked, and it was one
of my motivations for writing the "End of an Era" bit...even though I have
finally come to realize that even though things have changed, they will
always be the same and my friends and I will still enjoy the things we used
to (3 things repaired) Eddie and I took a trip to Toledo University to sell
one of Nally's friends a computer. That was cool, but other than that not
much happened. Tri-Hi started...the rink started up again...and things
changed a lot for me from the previous month. Oh yeah, I also joined a fall
softball team, which was a lot of fun, too. Kept me occupied for most of
the autumn months, which was totally cool :) I got my laptop for $700,
which I really love, and I spent probably close to $1200 on tuition and
books. Oh yeah -- I almost moved out, too...and I would've if I didn't have
to be 21 to get an apartment where I wanted to go. Probably better that I
didn't go.

October 2000 - Not too much happened. I worked at the rink, Alex and I took
a roadtrip to Toledo...and I went to visit Eddie and Christina at OSU with
Lisa. Softball continued, and so did Tri-Hi. In a sense, I can almost say
that October went fairly well...but I had this monstrocity of bills that
were piling up on me. In short, I dug a hole for myself. And I continued
to dig deeper, and deeper and deeper until I hit rock bottom. Well...these
bills are now finally almost all paid off thankfully, due to my frugal
spending and new scope on things. (4 things repaired)

November 2000 - Pretty much just a huge blur -- or blah -- or just plain "i
never had anything to do so all I did was sit around all day and think about
things without really doing anything at all" The one big shining moment was
during Thanksgiving break when everyone came home from school and we all
went out together. Well, since then I've changed things...even my attitude
a little bit and found new things to do (actually, some old things, like
magic) so during the past month I've really never been too bored at all with
life. (5 things repaired)

December 2000 - Can be expressed with one word - COMPLICATION. Yeah...I was
gonna take a trip down to Florida with my bro, and ended up declining
because of the huge mess I had created. Actually, I had absolutely no
cash -- I totally hated Tri-Hi -- there was absolutely nothing to do or
nowhere to go -- and I was causing an immense amount of problems for myself
that totally kept me from doing anything that I wanted at all. Well...most
of these problems worked themselves out one way or another since then, and I
realize that SIMPLIFICATION was the correct resopnse to this entire
situation (6 things repaired) Christmas break came at the totally right
time. Friends were back, we had things to do -- everyone was happy and
excited about everything, ya know? I was still a little confused about
things, and my parents were still pretty angry at me for doing all the
little small stupid things I have been describing. Christmas, itself was
pretty good BUT the time between then and New Years was absolutely terrible
because my parents were sick and totally fed up with all my shinanigans.
Since then, I think things have impoved greatly and we're all back to
normalcy (7 things repaired)

Yeah, there were probably some things I left out either intentionally or
unintentionally, but I'm just trying to give a broad scope of what happened
that I've been bitching and whining about for awhile now...or somethin' like
that. I really don't regret anything I did AT ALL, since I have learned
quite a bit from the mistakes and the good things I did. So really, the
year 2000 was really good...or at least a lot of good things came out of it
in the end. And a lot of the muck that came from it is dragging on over
into January and probably February, but that's OK because soon it will be
time to "Start Over" again. Yay. I'm incredibly excited!

-Chris